Friday, May 9, 2008

Grieving

I haven't quite figured out how to deal with all the sadness I'm experiencing. I can't remember when I felt this way. I can't really describe my feelings. Grieving is the only way I can describe it. I had a complete melt down at work when I got the news. I had not tested so I had no idea what the out come would be. I think I spent a good hour or more trying to gather my self so I could get back to work. Today I managed to get up, go to the dentist and go to work. When I got home however the sadness set in again. Jon and I talked, I cried etc. It felt good to get it out but man do I hate thinking about it. I'd rather do things to help myself NOT think about it. However I know I need to deal with my emotions if I plan on doing another IVF. OR if I plan on doing adoption. either way I need to deal with what I'm feeling so I can move on.


5 comments:

M said...

Amy, I am so, so sorry for the pain that you are feeling. It's not fair. I can't make sense of how babies are distributed. Why would a wonderful couple like you have to wait so long and go through so much? I don't understand, but I will continue to pray for you. I know whatever path you choose it will lead to your baby. But, I am sorry for the pain you are feeling today.

M said...

Amy, I am so, so sorry! It is not fair. I can't make sense of how babies are distributed. Why does such a wonderful couple like you have to wait so long and go through so much? I don't understand, but I will continue to pray for you. Whichever path you choose, I know it will lead to your baby. But, I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling today.

HeidiM said...

I'm really sorry for your news. I had two IVF failures and really feel for you. I just don't know what to do with bad news myself, but give yourself time to grieve and be kind to yourself.

Andy said...

Best of luck figuring out what's next. My wife and I are going through IVF. We had our 3rd egg retrieval yesterday. Only one fertilized- the transplant is tomorrow. Her FSH is increasing and this may be our last attempt.

We're not sure what we might do next- egg donor or adoption.

Jennifer said...

Oh Amy - I am so sorry you are so sad...I wish things turned out differently this time around. I don't get it...it's completely unfair! You will be a mommy someday, I know it...adoption is an excellent option too. Good luck as you find your way.