I haven't quite figured out how to deal with all the sadness I'm experiencing. I can't remember when I felt this way. I can't really describe my feelings. Grieving is the only way I can describe it. I had a complete melt down at work when I got the news. I had not tested so I had no idea what the out come would be. I think I spent a good hour or more trying to gather my self so I could get back to work. Today I managed to get up, go to the dentist and go to work. When I got home however the sadness set in again. Jon and I talked, I cried etc. It felt good to get it out but man do I hate thinking about it. I'd rather do things to help myself NOT think about it. However I know I need to deal with my emotions if I plan on doing another IVF. OR if I plan on doing adoption. either way I need to deal with what I'm feeling so I can move on.