Thursday, November 12, 2009

Much needed update

I don't really update this blog much any more. Mostly because this was just a blog I kept while I was going through the IVF process. It was a place for me to vent and get out my frustrations. Since we are not doing IVF or medical treatments I have not really had much to say. We have however moved on to adoption (this was about 18 months ago so at the time we were still doing IVF). After having our profile up for only 8 month's we were matched with a birth mother that was 6 month's pregnant with a baby girl. After going into labor at 33 weeks 4 day's the 17 year old birth father decided he wanted to raise the baby. To make a LONG story short while the baby was in the NICU the 16yo BM breast fed and decided (with the guidance of her doctors) that it was best for the baby if she went home with her. So our first failed match. Mean while we had (shortly after being contacted by this first birth mother) been contacted by a young married couple who had a 5 day old baby girl. They had a 1 year old son and felt over whelmed and wanted to give their baby up for adoption. We told them we were matched already and they said they would wait to see how it turned out. When I emailed them to tell them our match had failed I wasn't surprised to hear that they had decided to keep their daughter. My husband and I are of course devastated that our match didn't go through. We had already gotten some baby stuff. All the nursery stuff, stroller, car seat (all thanks to my mom) some clothes from a friend. The cloth diapers. etc etc etc etc. My shower was scheduled for 2 day's after our matched failed.

It's an emotional roller coaster but we will survive. I had/have a separate blog that we set up for the baby so that's why I really didn't write about it here. Like I said this blog was really to get me through my IVF struggles. Which is why I really don't update this blog much. Heck my family doesn't even have this blog address. It's a blog where I vent my frustrations so I don't see the need to be passing it around to people who mind get offended or...what not by what I have to say here. I got a comment on my blog once that said something about me being negative or something to that effect. Yeah well...that's the point of this blog. To vent. I may not be the most positive up beat bubbly person you will ever meet but I'm certainly not THIS negative all the time I swear LOL. But hey, you try 4.5 years of infertility and 6 IVF's then we'll talk. Until then I'll just deal with the judgments cause that's what comes with having a blog.

I also have been laid off since last February. It was hard to get used to at first. I got really sick and lost 10 lbs but ended up really enjoying my summer. I am very grateful that I didn't get laid off while my husband is in school. He's graduated now and has a job so that has helped us a lot.

17 comments:

Meim said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Have you READ my IF blog? People probably think that I am the most whiney, angry, depressed person on the earth!

Vent away, Dear. You deserve it. And besides... this is YOUR space. Fill it with whatever you want.

Love you!

A n T said...

This is your place to vent. Be negative all you want. Its okay!

TABI said...

I am so sorry to hear all that you have been through! I was just thinking about you and so I checked your blog. You've been through a lot and be as negative as you want!! I really hope that you get a good match soon. You deserve that after all this. I will be hoping and praying for that.

Phoebe's mommy said...

Oh do I know what that feels like! I just started my blog to reca our adoption process. Now that it is over and we are happy with our 2 year old I can talk about it. Our first match failed to... and we had the baby in our home for 27 days first. All i can say is hang in there..... my new motto is "Life always works out...because it has to!"

Sam said...

Hi, nosey passer by! I think you are actually quiet positve considering all you have been handed! You are dealing very well from what I can see. PLease don't let all the downfalls make you give in just know that when you finally get that precious little gem you will cherish it more for all the wrok you put in to have it! Good luck on future endevours

iyou said...

Nice blog. Thank you for information!

Lily said...

I didnt read through all your posts so if you have talked about this already and I didnt read it I apologize but...have you thought of getting a surrogate mother?

Amy said...

Lily-Unfortunately due to our chromosomally embryo's surrogacy is not an option for us and not likely to work at all. Our embryo's are abnormal and very poor quality. They rarely make it past the 5 cell stage and never make it to blast. It's also something we are just not interested in so we moved to adoption. Neither is donor embryo. We discussed it and decided that adoption was the right move for us.

letting go said...

Hey there,
I started a blog about our experiences in trying to "grow" our family too...and it is hard and it is disappointing and you have every right to vent. Infertility does hurt, and sometimes we need to get that hurt out there so that it doesn't eat us up (and those we love).

I wish you peace and compassion for yourself.

rafa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Amy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy said...

I accidentally deleted Rafa's comment so I'm going to re post it since I can't figure out how to get it out of trash.

Rafa:

Hi ! was looking for some information on my problems and came across your blog. Am so sorry for all you've been through. I have been trying to get pregnant for 5 yrs now. And my first infertility specialist messed up a hysteroscopy on me. Year one i have healthy tubes / lining etc. and just a year later, the lapro/ hystero found that my tubes had been permanently damaged by genital TB. this was after i had done 2 rounds of ICSI already. Well after another two rounds of ICSI my new doctor finds out that I have an MTFHR gene mutation. Which basically means that i'm high risk for miscarriages and also fetal abnormalities. In addition egg quality and endometrium lining are poor. Just started my 5th cycle. Am I being unrealistic and overly optimistic here?

Amy said...

Rafa-I don't think you are being overly optimistic at all. I have more immune issues then I can count, very poor egg/embryo quality ect ect ect and I still have hope that some day we'll have a miracle pregnancy.

I have :
Multinucleated/Chromosomally abnormal embryo's,
comp Hetero MTHFR, elevated natural killer cells, DQ Alpha match, elevated factor VIII

linda said...

I just stumbled onto your blog. My god...I don't know what to say. You guys have been through the wringer. 6 IVFs and two failed matches as of your last post. My heart goes out to you and yours that your path has been so long to become parents.

(hug)

Pet lover said...

Yeah, what a story...funny but interesting...I like it...

Guetto Princess said...

HI...I was wondering if you have ever seen a holistic Nutritionist for your fertility issues. Fertility is highly linked to diet and hoemones and there is a specific diet and herbs that can help with the process. If you would like to know more please contact me.
My blog: itsmylifeandilldowhatiwant.blogspot.com
email: lisa@thewealthyhippy.com
www.thewealthyhippy.com..
Best of luck,
Lisa

Amy said...

Yes I saw an acupuncturist for a while and I did acu and herbs for quite a long time. Unfortunately my immune issues are not hormonal and can't be fixed. I could do intralipid therapy but for a reason I wrote in a previous post we were not able to do that. Acu and herbs work great for people with PCOS since that's a hormonal problem. For me though it didn't helped. sure was relaxing though.