left behind

My husband and I were coming home from visiting with his family yesterday and our birth mom was crossing the street with the baby. It was the first time I had seen the baby since she took him back. I didn't get to see much of him but from what I could see he has gotten quite big. Luckily she is moving out of our neighborhood and to a town far enough away that we should never run into her again. Seeing her and the baby made me realize I'm not quite done grieving and I'm not quite ready yet to get matched again. Our profile is still up and available to be seen and I'm ok with that. We could always turn down a match if we wanted to.

I'm thinking of putting my fertility friend account on hold for a while. All my friends accept a couple have all had their babies. My closest FF friends had babies around the same time we had Liam so I was supposed to experience motherhood with them. Their babies are all around 2 or 3 month's old now and here we sit childless still.