Thursday, July 19, 2007
Well I finally got to talk to my doctor at 4:30 today. Unfortunately our one and only embryo stopped growing at 10 cells. Which means it had stopped growing around 9 am on Wednesday morning. I had them keep it one more day to make sure it wouldn't progress and it didn't survive the night. I'm feel at a loss but at the same time I'm so glad this cycle has come to an end (so to speak). This was my vacation week and it was full of strong emotions and lots of tears. It wasn't my "ideal" vacation but I'm glad I was at home instead of work. I don't think I could have made it through work this week with all the ups and downs my husband and I have gone through over the past 72 hours. It took me 4 days to fully recover from my retrieval. 2 days more then it took the last time. I have no idea why but oh well. I'm feeling 100% better now so that is all that matters.
I'm kind of glad that this ended the way it did. My doctor had pretty much given me a zero percent chance of pregnancy. He said if it had happened I had a high chance of losing the baby early on. However I couldn't possibly disregard the embryo if it was still growing.
It also would have been hard because my blood test to confirm pregnancy was scheduled for 7/29. Getting a negative days shy of going to Utah would have been hard. I'm pretty much a complete mess when ever I find out my IVF has failed and need more then just a few days to spend along (with Jon) to cry and deal with the frustration and pain.
I'm ok with the way this cycle ended and I do feel it's for the best. Jon and I both need a little time away from the fertility treatments. He is fully on board with continuing them through school though. It will probably be 2-3 months before we have completed another IVF. The entire process, from beginning to finish, takes up to 2 1/2 months to complete anyway. I hate that it takes so long but unfortunately that is just the way it works. I do believe however that my body needs a little time before I start the medications again. I will continue with my acupuncture. It definately helps me to relax. I'm also going to be watching my diet and trying to get more protein. I'll probably pick up some Whey protein from the store and use that as a supplement. Jon and I don't eat a lot of meat so neither of us get enough protein. (I think...)
I'm glad that I am ok with the way this ended. I will be having a phone consultation with my doctor in about a week to go over my last two cycles. I have lots of questions for him. Neither of the protocols he used worked very well. he was happy with my first cycle, however I was not. There are also other tests they can do (like simple blood tests to test antibodies and check for a clotting issue) that he has not done. Typically you don't do them until you have had 3 failed IVF's. (this one is considered a failure in my book). However if my insurance will cover it (which I'm sure it will) I would like to get some of the testing done while Jon and I take a short break from TTC.
Jon and I are both very much ready for a child of our own and we just hope and pray that it doesn't take much longer.