Thursday, July 12, 2007

What is my doctor doing?

this is a post from my open diary account dated 7/12

This IVF cycle has been a complete nightmare from the beginning. Hopefully (unlike most nightmares) this will have a happy ending.

I started my FSH drugs 7 days ago. This was my first month on Lupron. I had to make my doctor have me go on for a estrogen (E2) test to make sure the Lupron was indeed suppressing me...which thankfully it was. Anyhow, usually he will have me go in for another E2 test and u/s after 3 days of the FSH meds. He didn't. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Today was my first u/s and my third E2 draw. My E2 was nice and high but I only have 3 measurable follicles and a 4th that might catch up. I'm so stinking mad. Not only did I only have 4 but two of them were mature...which means I have no time to try to harvest more eggs. IF he had me go in 3 days ago for an u/s to see how many I had he would have had time to increase my dosage of FSH in hopes of getting more. It's obvious that the Lupron suppressed me to much so it looks as though I won't be using that protocol again.

I get the call from my doctors nurse with his instructions. "take your meds for 3 more days then go in for an u/s" I ended up cutting her off and saying "IS HE SERIOUS? My follicles grow up to 3mm a day!" (normal people have a growth of 1-2mm per day even with FSH meds) If he was reviewing my chart he would have known this. If I had taken his advise I would go in 3 days from now with follicles close to 30mm (unless my some miracle they slowed down-which can happen) Anyhow, she went to talk to him and came back and said "he says you are right. do your meds tonight and go in for your E2 and u/s tomorrow."

Is he crazy? I shouldn't be the one telling the doctor what I need to do. He should know all this. I know that mistakes happen but he totally messed up my last cycle too. He stuck me on 150IU of gonal f. The same dosage I was on for all 3 of my injectable IUI cycles...I (accept for one bizszar cycle where I had 13 mature eggs) I had 6-8 eggs. He should have known to start me on a higher dosage for IVF. He didn' shocker...I only had 8 follicles for retrieval. Which translated to 7 eggs, 6 good quality, 3 fertilized with ICSI. *sigh*

I can't wait for this nightmare to be over. Hopefully all 4 of the follicles will mature and contain an egg. If I don't have at least 3 (which I should) I will be canceled and do an IUI (which I don't really have to much hope for that working).

GRRR Besides all that I'm sick of the fact that the hormones make me a mental case. I'm balling my eyes out one second and angry the next...then happy...then crying...then mad. I feel like a psychopath. I started balling my eyes out at my desk to day. I tried so hard not to cry but couldn't. One of my co workers had to pull me aside (has daughters of her own my age) to see if I was ok. I hate crying in public.

Melissa is here for a month and it's so good to have her back. I love Jon but it will be nice to have a girl to talk to. We are going to friendlies for dinner and ice cream tonight. YUMMY! I also hope that i get to take her and the kids to the beach next week. I'm on vacation starting tomorrow at 5 pm! YAY! I have not been to the beach once and this will probably be my only time so I hope we have nice hot weather next week!

Jon and I found out that we can have brother Freere help us with our boiler and insurance will cover anything that could go wrong. I made sure that they would because he is not licensed or insured (and they know that) so I had to cover our bases. It is going to save us a TON of money. I'm excited! I thought we'd end up having to dish out $6,000 for the heating system and I was NOT looking forward to parting with the money. I work hard for it and it is so hard to spend it. I hate seeing that balance go down after working so hard to build it up. LOL

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