We have one

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Well only one out of the 3 eggs fertilized with ICSI. it doesn't make sense to me. Jon and I have lots of questions for the doctors. Putting the two IVF's together we have a 44.4% fertilization rate. Then again, if we had one more egg this cycle (making it 4 total) and it had fertilized (good chance) we would have had a 50% fertilization rate...which really isn't that much lower then the average (70%). I'm not sure if it's us or if it's the way the clinic does the ICSI that is making it low. Either way it is very frustrating. Unfortunately there are not answers for everything but not having an answer why makes it very hard to accept.

I'm very happy that we have (so far) one to transfer but sad at the same time. My chance of success drops by 25% by not transferring two. Granted our chances of twins is pretty much slim to none so that is good. I'd rather take the 30-40% chance of twins though to increase my chance of success from 25% (one embryo) to 50%+ with two or more. Anyhow, we go back on Wednesday to have the transfer done. My acupuncture seems to be working because my lining is a LOT thicker then it has been in the past. (makes for an extra nice environment for the embryo) I'm very nervous because if this one doesn't work I think that Jon and I will be taking a break. This is hard emotionally for both of us and I just don't know if I can put him through this roller coaster of a ride for his senior year of college. I guess it all depends on what his work load would be. Either way I plan on taking at least 2 months off (takes at least 2 to complete a IVF cycle anyway) and go on herbal treatments through my acupuncturist. It may sound bizzar to some people but I truly feel that with the right diet/supplements that we can put our bodies in better shape and help them (our bodies) do what they should be doing in the first place. Jon and I are "unexplained" infertility. (no good reason why we are not pregnant) I would also request he do some more testing. There are certain tests that they won't do until you have had 3 failed IVF cycles. Each IVF cycle takes up to 2 months from start to finish. I have already completed two. I'm NOT going to make them put me through a 3rd cycle. (unless of course my insurance company says so...they do have the say in the end) There are more blood tests (antibody tests) they can do. I'm also going to have a talk with my doctor to see what his next protocol for me will be and to make sure it is what I think would be best. I know this is prideful but I feel like I could have handled my two cycles better then he did. There is no reason I should have such a poor response to the FSH drugs. It is obvious that the Lupron suppressed me WAY to much this time.

Anyhow, I just hope I don't need to go any further then this. I'm tired and ready to get off this ride and so is Jon. My due date would be April 6th (which we think is kind of neat) that would be about a month 1/2 before he graduates. it would make for a rough last semester for him but it would make it possible for me to stay home and not work.

I am not sure when my blood test will be but I won't be divulging that information so don't ask. ;-) If by chance this does not work I will (like always) need my time to grieve before being totally ok with having to move on.

I honestly can't imagine how people get pregnant on accident. I mean no wonder it takes up to a year to get pregnant. it is amazing how many things go into an egg being fertilized or even making it to a baby. The process is a total miracle. NO doctor would say otherwise. It really burns me to see how many people are out there that don't cherish the miracles that they have. I can say that one thing I have gotten out of this is that I will appreciate the life my husband and I create more then I would have before. I think some people take for granted the creation of life. It is nothing short of a miracle. Just the simple fact that it happens in and of itself is a miracle.

out of all my medicated cycles Jon and I have had over 3 years worth of eggs and we have no baby. if this one little embryo pulls through and brings us a baby it will indeed be a miracle.