Monday, July 14, 2008

Loss of hope

This is an entry from my online diary account from 7/11

Well CCRM is out of the question. Apparently the doctor I’d be seeing is in net work (thus covered) but their laboratory and surgery center is not in net work. They are not partnered with my insurance so we’d have to pay for over 12 grand worth of medical stuff. Not to mention all the money we’d spend in traveling expenses.

On one hand I’m relieved that I don’t have to spend the money or time to go out there. On the other hand I have now lost all hope of ever getting pregnant. I meet with my RE on the 16th and I’m going to demand testing. I doubt I’ll do another cycle with them, unless for some reason the tests find an issue that can be resolved. I don’t know if there is a point in doing another IVF. Clearly my body has proven that I’m unable to get pregnant.

I feel at a loss. I feel like my body won this battle.

As far as adoption goes that could take a LONG time. Their only social worker is leaving the company due to medical reasons. (It’s a VERY small agency) going to another agency is not an option since it would cost us any where from $15-$25k more then this agency will. We are not to a point where we need a case worker anyway but none the less it will slow down the process. They do a lot more then just adoptions too

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