Thursday, October 2, 2008

a good cry

Well I finally cried last night but it took an hour or so of sitting on my bed being depressed...and angry that my husband didn't know what to say to me. I guess I can't blame him. I mean he doesn't know what to say to make me feel better. There is nothing he can do to fix this situation.

I felt better after I cried but I hated the fact that I wasted my precious time being depressed. Who really wants to go home and think about these things after 9 hours of work? No one does....and if you do you are insane. My time after work is precious and the last thing I want to do is think about my infertility. One way or another I've got to come to an acceptance so I can feel better and move on...but how can I accept the fact that we can't have kids? I'm not sure that's something I can EVER accept. How does one accept something they have longed for their whole life? All I want is to have a child to love and raise and to be a stay at home mom.

Speaking of work...my coop bills are calling my name...back to work I go.

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