Tuesday, October 21, 2008

left behind

I'm sick of being left behind by all my infertile friends. They are all moving on and getting pregnant and I'm just left here...alone. Even my friends in my adoption buddy group are wizzing through the adoption process and here I sit trudging along. our agency is so slow and it's really starting to tick me off. I might have to write a letter to the agency director when all this is said and done. The way they do things is stupid. I have to have all my paperwork in before we meet with the social worker. Don't you think they could let us meet with him now while we are finishing up our studying hours? No of course not. And of course my husband is dragging his feet with getting his hours done. He has about 4 more left. I gave him till the end of the month and I guarentee he gets it all done the last two days of the month. *sigh* men.

Doesn't help that I'm so freaking exhausted. Since I stopped all the fertility hormones my thyroid is going down and now I'm over medicated and slightly hyper thyroid. My period was almost non existent this month and I have to drink soda to keep from falling asleep at my desk. usually it starts around lunch time but today it is starting around 11:15. *sigh*

The fatigue doesn't help my mood. All I want to do today is go home and sleep.

So get this. My boss (D) told someone in editorial that "we" could help type up the stories for a veterans tab we are doing. Well guess who is typing them all? Yup you guessed it I am the one typing them up. Kind of makes me mad but what ever. I also get to work a booth at the Warren Miller festival the night before Thanksgiving. It's part of my job so I can't really complain but I hate sports LOL.

Well I feel a tad bit better after writing this out. My husband and I are going to sit down tonight and go over our adoption stuff. We were supposed to go to the gym but the adoption stuff is to important. Looks like we'll go to the gym on Saturday some time instead. either that or start next week. We've had our memberships for 3 weeks now and just yesterday had the time to go buy clothes and shoes.


Foreverloves said...

((hugs)) i wish I had magic words of wisdom. I don't know what it feels like exactly, I just know what it feels like to watch everyone around you having babies or starting their family, and my 35th birthday is January and I don't even know if I will keep my baby.

Being real tired from the thyroid stuff doesn't help either.

Try to hang in there though :)

Kelly D said...

Although it may seem like all of your IF friends are having babies and leaving you behind, they are not. There are 7.3 million people struggling with IF. Also, many of those who are now pregnant can help support you during your adoption. Try not to count them out just yet. Some of my best supporters during IF were my friends with babies who never experienced IF.

Good luck with your adoption. It sounds like things will start moving along now.

Amy said...

KellyD-Thanks for the statistics but unfortunately that doesn't make me feel better at all. Besides I don't think anyone that reads my blog knows my entire situation. I'm not saying that my pregnant friends aren't supportive...they ARE supportive. I'm simply saying it hurts to be "left behind" by my friends. Yes there are plenty of woman out there still struggling but I was talking in particular, about my friends who have done multiple IVF's...the people I relate to the most.