Monday, February 11, 2008

meds are FINALLY on their way

After numerous calls to precision rx and my doctor (back and fourth) My meds are finally on their way. Precision rx is terribly slow! I have to use them for most of my meds because of my ins. If I go through them it's $40 co pay per med (so todays was $140). If I got my HCG through them it would be $40 but if I go to freedom (I pay a percentage of the cost if I go elsewhere) it was under $10. They will be here Wednesday. Nothing like last minute.

I'm on:
Gonal F
Repronex
Cetrotide
PIO & Estrace in the 2ww. I've filled all but the estrace. I'm pretty sure that since it's a pill it will be under $10 at freedom. I've never been on estrace before.

I've started to realize that most of my stress is from work. I hate my job. I've debated talking to my boss but I think it's to risky. I don't think there are any other positions in the company. As it is they have had to make cut backs. I'm going to stick it out till my IVF is done then I might get a different job. If I end up pregnant by some miracle I might just stick it out through my pregnancy. My boss is very nice (can work from home if I need to). I'm just upset and angry/sad all the time now. My job makes me miserable. I really can't stand working on a team with 2 other people. I'm trying so hard to like it but I just can't get myself to. I guess all I can do is take it 1 day at a time. Once DH graduates and gets a job I might quit all together. Who knows. I really want to stop working and give myself a break when DH graduates but I'm not sure I can justify it. I know DH will let me but giving up the money will be so hard. I'm hoping once I get pregnant this will all be more bearable. Between a job I hate and a body that keeps failing me as a woman I'm miserable all the time. All of these failures is getting to me emotionally. I'm starting to feel like a failure. It doesn't help that I've missed my infertility support group the past 2 times (forgot) I've GOT to remember to go to the next one (every 2 weeks) the last one was on 2/5 so the next one should be next Tuesday. I should call my therapist and let her know I'll be there.

It's been a long day and all I wanted was to come home to a DH that loves me. I feel like such a loser today. I'm always uptight at work and I know people can tell. I feel like they must think I'm a freak. I just wanted to come home to a husband who loves me but he went from a long day at Fidelity (helping them on Mondays - IT stuff- and getting school credits for it) to a TA position of which he also gets college credits. He won't be home till around 9 pm. :( My word I feel like such a loser today. Makes me wonder what people at work think of me. I'm sure I make it out to be worse then it is.

4 comments:

M said...

Good news the meds arrived! You are getting close now, and things will look up for you :)

TABI said...

So glad you got your meds!! It's beginning. I've tagged you over at my blog. See my post to get instructions! You're it!

Jennifer said...

Meds...fantastic arrival!!! You're so close to that start line now! Good luck - fingers crossed.

Amy said...

Meds haven't arrived yet. They don't get here till Thursday. :( I was supposed to get them on Tuesday. Long story but I'll be making a post about it today. I"m NOT happy with Precision RX