Saturday, November 24, 2007


Well I've officially ruined my weekend. BFN again today. I know I could still get a BFP but I'm not holding out hope. I will be 12DPER tomorrow and will use my last test. If no positive tomorrow then I'm going to officially give up. YES some woman get late +'s but it doesn't happen to often. Usually by 11 DPO they have gotten their BFP. Some as late as 12 DPO.

I knew I was right. I knew my embryos were dead when they transfered them.
I'm so sick of this. I don't understand why I can't get pregnant.

I had a blessing in which it said "it will happen sooner then you think." I'm starting to have doubts again. "yeah right" is all I can say. "what ever". Just as I started to have faith's going to be completely crushed. Well if God isn't going to work with my time frame then I'm going to start looking into adoption. Regardless of whether my PB says by natural means. I control my life and I make my own decisions and I want a baby now not later. (how's that for a temper tantrum) Oddly enough DH and I talked about adoption and at this point that is the route he'd almost rather go. Unfortunately we just spent our savings on two heating systems (we own an apartment building) and a down payment on our new car. I'm sure by the time we got a baby we'd have the money though.

I took a very long nap...well I actually went back to bed and got up at 3:30 and I feel better now. I still think I'm out of the running but we'll see. I don't know if I'll test tomorrow I think I might leave it for Monday morning. But then again I don't know if I want to do that to myself on Monday. AF should be here Monday or Tuesday. I always start regardless of progesterone. we shall see.

1 comment:

M said...

I am so sorry. I got another BFN this morning too. I was totally fine with it for a half hour, and then I just blew up. I feel like I deserve an answer as why this isn't happening. This process has left me emotionally exhausted. I am sad. I am angry. I am jealous of women who just pop out babies. I am tired.

I think it is is absolutely wonderful to start thinking of adoption. I am starting to do the same. It is good to realize that "all roads lead to Rome." :) No matter what happens we WILL be mothers. Maybe I need to stop praying--and insisting--that these ivfs work and just start praying that I will get "my" baby. The beautiful baby that I am supposed to have.

I don't think you should count yourself out of this cycle yet. I think I am. But you are still a couple of days behind me. Plus, it might have taken til day 6 for your little embies to grow to blasts. Just a thought.