Day off

I took the day off today so I can have some time to myself. I really needed it. I have been very depressed the past few days and need to get myself out of the funk. I'm confused and frustrated. I'm confused by all the blessings I've been given and some of the stuff that was said...I don't know what to make of my patriarchal blessing any more. It all seems like it was meant for someone else.

I booked a BUNCH of consults:
I had one with my RE (Boston IVF-Dr. Bayer) last night but I need to talk to him further

We have one with fertility centers of new england-Dr. Hill on 12/5. (Portsmouth NH)

We have a consult with CCRM on 12/10 with Dr. Schoolcraft. (colorado)

I left a message for Reproductive Science center (Bedford, NH) as well as SIRM-NY (Dr. Sher)

It's going to be a crazy month but oh well. My plan is to probably stick with Dr. Bayer for one more cycle and to go out of state with a different clinic in 2008 (when I have vacation time left). I want to make sure I'm going to a top clinic. But here is my thinking:

CCRM is supposedly one of the top clinics in the US (I think THE top clinic) however they only do around 1,095 cycles a year. (with about 60-70% success rate)
Boston IVF does over 3,000 cycles a year with a 35-45% success rate (40% being average)
Does the fact that they do 3 times the amount of cycles skew the success rates? I would think the more cycles you do the more failures you'd have. It makes me curious.

I also can't seem to find a list on the internet of top clinics. I want to know how to compare clinics...I mean you MUST have to take into consideration the amount of cycles you do?

I'm leaning towards Reproductive Science center (Bedford, NH) because they do 2,700 cycles a year and their success rates are around 60%. HOWEVER depending on the infertility issue it goes as low as 30%. AAAHHHH how do I compare??!??

I'm also researching what tests I should get done so I can go back to Dr. Bayer and request them!